


La Bestia

by Mother_North



Series: Obscure [5]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst, Boyang is a sweetie pie, Dark, Disturbing Themes, F/M, Flashbacks, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Homicide, Lingerie, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Minor Character Death, Mood Swings, Porn With Plot, Power Play, Psychology, Rentboys, Rough Oral Sex, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, Stockings, Strangulation, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-04-27 20:37:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14433606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North
Summary: This part serves as a continuation of the “Obscure” series, in which Javier and Yuzuru meet again.





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> This installment of the series consists of several separate chapters and some more tags are to be added later.  
> Usual RPF disclaimer applies to this work of fiction in full and it is not meant to offend anyone.  
> Additional disclaimer:  
> 1\. This work is absolute, total, complete FICTION, where all of the events take place in ALTERNATE universe (not even our beloved one, guys ;)) and in which MAJOR (more like major x 10) OOC is present.  
> 2\. Tags are there for a reason and the story explores dark topics and disturbing situations, sometimes getting pretty nasty…It is YOUR sacred right as a reader not to like it, not to start reading it or to ditch reading it anytime you feel like it and it is MY sacred right as an author not to censure it, not to compromise it and to mold it in whatever way I feel to.  
> 3\. I APOLOGIZE in advance if the “Obscure” series as a whole or this story in particular have somehow upset you!

**

 _We bend our knees_  
_At the altar of my ego_  
_You drained my heart_  
_And made a spade_  
_But there's still traces of me_  
_in your veins …_

_— Marilyn Manson, “Spade”_

**

“ _Eres una bestia_!”*

She was moaning and writhing, her plump lips twisting in throes of ecstasy. Javier was watching her glistening face contort as his hips increased their pummeling rhythm. He was fucking her into the mattress in full vigour, chasing his own satisfaction, teeth bared in a snarl, sweat running down his lower back.

Javier was desperate, Javier was fierce, Javier was… _void_.

He closed his palm over her mouth, wanting to subdue the sounds she was making _—_ her howls _too high-pitched_ for his liking, her body _too pliant_ , her skin tasting _different_ and her tightness _not good enough_.

It didn’t feel right, not the way it used to.

_Not the way it did before he met him._

Javier pulled out, coming all over her heaving ample bosom _—_ her dusky nipples pert, sun-kissed flesh painted white. Release ran through his veins unsatisfactory fast and bleak, leaving a gaping hollowness in its wake. He turned his back to her, trying to catch his breath.

 _Roberta._ Not his anymore, though.

She laughed _—_ a low and a guttural sound he once found enticing, cupping his face between her palms, making him look her in the face, her brown eyes shining at him with unfeigned adoration. It made his stomach turn into knots as if he was suddenly seeing her decaying carcass instead of a living and a breathing young woman; his feelings to her were _putrefying_ too, becoming naught steadily.     

Javier disentangled himself from the sweat-drenched sheets and her clinging arms and got out of the bed.

“Aren’t you staying for the night?” The unhidden hope in her voice made Javier cringe inwardly.

“No, I have some unfinished business…Sorry.”

He started dressing quickly, not even bothering to pretend that he was not in a hurry to get away from her as soon as possible.

“Will you call me?” An irritatingly hopeful plea in Roberta’s tone was answered only by a sound of a closing door.

Javier buried his hands in his hair, starting the engine of his car and hitting gas, wanting to never come back again, needing to forget about a mere existence of a woman with a raven hair and a hearty laughter whom he could love no more, at least, not the way he once did.

He knew with relentless clarity that he wouldn’t return.

**

Lonely morning greeted him with dull headache and bitterness of his beloved espresso. He had just taken the last gulp when Brian Orser called him. The voice of the man on the other end of the line was an epitome of quiet confidence and kindness.

 Javier woke up completely in the blink of an eye.

“I’ve heard you are planning to undertake a _certain_ trip, a quite _pleasant_ trip, to be exact. I’ve decided that while you’ll be visiting the city you can also tend to _some other things_ too… Mixing business with pleasure, as they say… You know what I mean, don’t you? _Felipe_ will be waiting for you with the corresponding instructions, like always. Knowing your talents, I am positively sure that it won’t take long for you to get the job done… I trust in you, my boy.”

Javier’s mood sunk considerably but he didn’t let it seep into the tone of his voice.

“ _Yes,_ _boss_. _Whatever you need.”_

He heard a faint appreciating humming.

“Now that’s _my boy_. By the way, I hope to hear from you upon your return and, maybe, you’ll have some newly obtained memorable experience _to share_ with me…I’ll be waiting with the utmost of patience. Goodbye, Javier, and I simply _order_ you to have some truly high-quality time with this _new toy_ of yours. Enjoy while you can.”

Orser’s dark chuckle made Javier shudder involuntarily.

**

Boyang was sitting on his bed, munching on a fried honeyed toast with appetite, its crust crisping loudly. He was watching Yuzuru fussing around his apartment, getting ready to leave inappropriately early. It was only half past four, yet his friend seemingly couldn’t collect his wits ever since he had received the call from _that_ cursed Spaniard earlier that day. Yuzuru was bubbling with a barely contained excitement and even air around him felt electrified. Staring at Yuzuru dolling up in front of a mirror, Boyang couldn’t grasp what exactly he was hoping for or what he could possibly anticipate from the planned meeting, except for having his ass properly sore on the following morning.

“Put on a neckerchief or something… This Daisuke of yours is really fucked up.”

Boyang winced from simply looking at Yuzuru’s neck and clavicles. Fingerprints were dotting his tender skin and a couple of angry love bites were blooming lewdly for everyone to see _—_ some of the telling testimonies to the power of Daisuke’s unbridled “tough love”. Boyang knew there were more to be found at his protruding hipbones too.

Yuzuru’s jaw tensed at his friend’s remark and he furrowed his brow, a shadow of annoyance passing over his features at the mention of his former lover’s name. Still, he followed Boyang’s advice, putting on a bluish silken scarf which matched the shade of his light jeans perfectly. He applied some of the transparent gloss to his succulent lips to accentuate their natural lushness.

Boyang huffed.

“It looks as if you are going to _a date_ with him. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Yuzuru put some of the hair gel on his long black fringe with his fingertips, leaving Boyang’s reprimand unaddressed.

“I think I’ll be late, Bo. Don’t be too bored without me and if loony Daisuke somehow finds out where you live and comes here just kick him in the balls, ok?”

Boyang caught Yuzuru by the wrist near the front door, his eyes studying his friend’s face intently and he looked deadly serious.

“Please, take care and don’t let…Don’t let him kiss you, Yuzu.”

Yuzuru burst out laughing, waving his hand dismissively. He looked at Boyang, mischief poppling at the bottom of his dark eyes.

“Fine, I promise that I’ll let him stick his tongue up my ass but I won’t ever let him kiss me…Does it work for you?”

Boyang shook his head, trying to pull Yuzuru into a tight hold but he slipped away, agilely avoiding his embrace and running down swiftly, two stairs at a time. His careless laughter was bouncing off the walls, resounding in Boyang’s soul filled with peculiar anxiousness. He rushed to the window to catch a glimpse of Yuzuru’s delicate, quickly receding figure.

Boyang sighed wistfully, silently taking the last bite of his now cold toast.

**

Javier proposed meeting Yuzuru at the same place he had seen him for the first time on that fateful night. The crossing of streets looked vastly different in broad daylight and Javier could hardly recognize the sight _—_ no neon lights or silhouettes lurking in the shadows; creatures of the night resting in their cocoons with only ordinary looking pedestrians scurrying around, minding their own business. Javier stopped the car, anticipation curling at the pit of his belly. He fought a biting urge to have a smoke _,_ a dose of nicotine serving as the most primitive of ways to ease uneasy nervousness.

Yuzuru was nowhere to be seen yet.

Javier took a glance at his own reflection into a rear-view mirror: a pair of specular aviator glasses hiding his sunken eyes after a sleep-deprived night, his pronounced jawline shaded with stubble, thin lips chapped and dry. Not much to be proud of, to tell the truth, but he smirked anyway, knowing full well that his rough appearance had a certain degree of undeniable primordial charm to it.

He thought to himself that _his boy_ would definitely like.

A guarded knock at the toned window of his car startled him out of his reverie. He opened the door immediately for Yuzuru to take a front seat, next to him. The young man looked even thinner than he remembered, sinking into a luxurious cream leather seat _—_ his plain black sweatshirt accentuating the milkiness of his skin. His obscure almond-shaped eyes and cupid’s bow were making Javier yearn for him so badly it hurt. Albeit, there was a strangely looking light scarf around his slender neck, which Javier didn’t like at a glimpse and which he considered to be a screaming dissonance to Yuzuru’s whole appearance.

“Hi.”

Yuzuru mumbled shyly, casting his eyes downwards under Javier’s searing gaze, his slim shoulders tensing visibly as Javier’s overpowering aura of confidence and masculine imperiousness got under his skin, making him feel small, all of a sudden. He bit the inside of his mouth, reprimanding himself inwardly for a fit of this untimely incertitude.

Yuzuru was caught off guard, his eyes widening, as he felt Javier pulling off the offending article of fabric from his neck harshly, his assertive fingers tilting him by the chin to have a better view. Yuzuru really didn’t expect the senior man to act so boldly, his countenance obviously shaken.   

Javier felt his blood sizzle upon seeing Yuzuru’s vestal skin marred _—_ bluish fingerprints and love bites looking nothing but sacrilegious on the smooth porcelain of his graceful neck.

“ _Who_ did this, for fuck’s sake?”

Yuzuru hated being scrutinized and he was trying to push Javier’s hands away but the man wouldn’t let him.

“I asked you a question.” He hissed.

Yuzuru met Javier’s eyes sternly, stuffing his tenacious shame away.

“Does it really matter?”

Javier was breathing heavily, irrational jealousy fretting his insides. He cursed himself for reacting so foolishly to the marks _someone else_ had obviously left on Yuzuru’s body. He wasn’t naïve or stupid to think that the boy had been untouched since the time they had been together but he couldn’t help himself — a sudden incomprehensible desire to claim him as _his and his alone_ made a cold shiver ran down Javier’s spine; he felt terribly aroused.

Javier unzipped his black jeans wordlessly and pulled the boy down to his crotch by the back of his head roughly.

Yuzuru looked up at him from between his parted legs, licking his glossy lips, his own image staring back at him, reflected in Javier’s expensive sunglasses — he saw darkness flooding his eyes, dilated pupils and irises looking like pitch-black craters. Yuzuru decided to skip the teasing altogether, an incomparable thrill of a challenge taken heating him up.

_He craved to make the senior man loose his mind._

Yuzuru took Javier’s hard cock all the way down his throat in one fluid motion, relaxing his jaw and savouring every inch of thickness, his mouth sliding smooth and wet, till the tip of his nose was buried in curly pubes. Javier’s desperate loud groan filled Yuzuru with a heady realization of the power he had over the man and he clenched his thighs in an attempt to alleviate some of the tension between his own legs. Musky scent and breathless little grunts were invading Yuzuru’s senses as he was sucking Javier’s cock hard, seemingly wanting to devour his sole essence.

Javier’s fingers were squeezing the steering wheel with knuckle-whitening force, his head thrown backwards at the leather headrest, agape in the throes of blinding pleasure. Yuzuru was going down on him at a tantalizingly languid pace, the moist drag of his velvety hot mouth drawing Javier closer and closer to the edge with each passing moment, yet he needed _more_. 

Javier started bucking his hips up in small thrusts, his hand secured at Yuzuru’s nape. He heard the boy whimper around him and it made him nearly lose it, acute delight cauterizing him. Yuzuru’s fingers were digging into his contracting abdomens, their little sharp grazes only intensifying the mind-blowing sensations.

Javier was barely registering the constantly changing faces of unsuspecting passers as they were walking the street pavement near his parked car, separated by the thin glass of toned windows. He fantasized about the car windows suddenly becoming transparent so that everyone could see Yuzuru performing fellatio on him. He had to bite his bottom lip to fight back a needy moan.

Javier regretted that he couldn’t see the boy due to his seated position at the moment. He shut his eyes, imagining Yuzuru instead — his ruby lips stretched around his cock beautifully and his dewy brow furrowed in concentration as he was letting him have a way with his mouth. The sinful vision in his lust-fogged mind was making Javier go wild and he pressed the back of Yuzuru’s head further down, forcing himself _impossibly deep_ , soft gagging sounds pushing him into a precipice of his powerful orgasm, his vision tunneling to a pulsing dot as he made Yuzuru swallow every single drop.

After several long minutes, Javier finally managed to regain his senses, descending from his blissful state. He turned his head to look at Yuzuru. The boy was flushed, his abused lips obscenely swollen, chest rising heavily as he was stroking himself fast, needing his own release desperately. Javier smirked, closing his broad palm over Yuzuru’s moving hand, his thumb toying with the already moist slit cunningly. It took just a few of demanding tugs for Yuzuru to come hard, spurts of white staining the fabric of his sweatshirt and their interlaced fingers.

Javier brought his hand to Yuzuru’s panting mouth to lick it clean and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to restrain himself from ravishing the unbearable boy right there and then.

Yuzuru felt lightheaded from his recent orgasm, his limbs seeming detached from his impossibly airy body. He looked down at his sordid sweatshirt and sighed in exasperation. Javier noticed his predicament and opened the glove department, taking his sunglasses off.

“Don’t worry. I have an extra t-shirt with me. _Just in case_. You can put it on for now.”

Yuzuru watched Javier taking a black t-shirt out, his gaze bumping into _something else entirely_ quite unexpectedly — a steely chromed pistol grip of a _Desert Eagle_ that made his mouth fall open slightly.

 Javier tracked the direction of his glance and the way Yuzuru’s eyes flashed at the sight of _his gun_ excitedly didn’t escape him. He threw his t-shirt in Yuzuru’s still staring face half-jokingly and closed the glove department with effort.

The boy didn’t ask any questions, though, and Javier sighed with relief inwardly.

“ _Hungry_? Because, as for me, I am fucking starving.”

Javier asked Yuzuru while he was changing into his loose t-shirt, which was obviously too big for the boy’s delicate frame. Yuzuru nodded, adjusting the quirky neckerchief once again to hide his abused neck. Javier grimaced and casted him an indecipherable side-glance before igniting the car engine.

“Name the place then. But it’d better be somewhere far from here.”

His black Porsche took them to an unpretentious canteen on the outskirts of the city.

**

* _Eres una bestia_!  — You are a beast! (span.)


	2. II.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An argument to withstand, a pull to follow and a wordless pledge to be bound by.

**

_“Betty’s Lair”_

Yuzuru has always found the name of an unassuming eatery to be quite equivocal, yet fitting to a badly lit place with its crude furniture and highly questionable interior styling decisions. The said Betty was nowhere to be seen but it truly reminded him of a lair, where it was permanently dark inside, even on the brightest of days; sparse visitors scattered across impermissibly vast saloon, sitting behind plain wooden, and often soiled, tables. Though, it was clearly _not_ the seediest of places Yuzuru had ever been to, to tell the truth. Besides, he liked that no one appeared to pay any attention to other comers’ doings or hush-voiced conversations.

Nobody seemed to care here and it made him feel analgesically stealth and _nonexistent_. 

They took one of the vacant tables at the corner and made their orders. Yuzuru noticed the way Javier sighed tiredly, the older man’s eyes scanning the hall, a slight aversion written all over his masculine features. He smirked inwardly.

_Welcome to my world._

Yuzuru huffed thinking of a shining and unbelievably clean-looking gun he had seen in Javier’s car.

The silence between them was stretching awkwardly and he decided to be the one to disrupt it, at long last.

“Tough night?”

Bags beneath the older man’s eyes were especially pronounced under the sickly, dim lightning of the canteen. 

Javier’s voice sounded groggy.

“Yeah, sort of… I’ve hardly had any sleep.”    

Yuzuru pondered for a moment what this answer could possibly imply and decided not to dwell on it too much, after all. He knew next to nothing about the man and he had a strong gut feeling that at this certain point his non-acquaintance was the best possible option, not to mention, perhaps — _the safest_ one too.

Regardless of the unsavory surroundings the served burger tasted mighty fine to Javier and he bit into it with gusto. Yuzuru was watching his jaws work without cease, dark red ketchup stains on his white plate evoking images of blood on white tiles or sheets in front of his mind eye. He wanted to look away but paradoxically couldn’t bring himself to and Javier caught him staring openly.

“What? Haven’t seen a real man with a proper appetite? Not everyone lives solely on strawberry and vanilla milkshakes all of the time…”

A striped straw fell from Yuzuru’s lips, his eyes widening in surprise.

“How do you know?”

Javier wiped his mouth, hiding his smirk into a scant paper napkin.

“Oh, I know _a lot_ about you…For example, I have heard that one shitty loser has recently committed suicide seemingly because of you. Now, that’s _quite something,_ don’t you think? I wonder how it makes you feel…”

Yuzuru’s lips turned into a thin line, his slim shoulders tensing; milky sugary sweetness tasting sour against his palate all of a sudden. A wave of irritation swept over him. If the Spaniard wanted to push his buttons he knew how to play this game too.

Yuzuru acquired his most innocent expression before saying:

“I feel _nothing_. And just so you know, I am not only surviving on milkshakes alone. I add some _sperm_ as an additional source of protein daily. It goes well with the milk. And, by the way, _yours_ is in my stomach right now too. ”

Javier blinked a couple of times constrainedly, his eyes digging into Yuzuru’s countenance dark and intense — not an ounce of pity or remorse to be found in them; it contradicted starkly with a word he uttered under his breath next.

“ _Sorry.”_

 Yuzuru felt nasty, thinking that he’d, probably, better leave at all; a scathing voice inside keeping on telling him that he was not only _feeling_ nasty and detestable but that he in fact truly _was_. Yuzuru rose from the table abruptly, the whole atmosphere of the place suddenly suffocating him, its dirtiness unfurling in each of its ugly details in a delirious reel, playing out in his troubled mind: _their_ squalid lives destined to be drown in cheap swill, _their_ greasy thick fingers and smarmy liquid eyes, _their_ lousy mouths and unrelenting hardness of wooden planks beneath his bended knees…

 _His_ _mortification_.

_A death of a soul._

He felt like running, yet a strong hand closed around his wrist firmly. Javier noticed the way the boy’s chest was rising and falling heavily and an unhealthy gleam that appeared in his eyes. He looked nothing short of phrenetic, seemingly on the verge of a virtual panic attack and Javier tried to quiet him down a bit.

“Hey, take it easy…”

Javier meant to sound as soothing as possible, staring into those two bottomless wells of despair, his guts wrenching in malaise. Yuzuru looked extremely wind-up and agitated.

“You think you fucking _know_ me? You think you know _everything_ about me? Want to hear something new and funny? By the way, it happened here! I once gave a blowjob for a lollipop… I sucked a guy’s dick for a fucking sucker! Can you imagine it? Isn’t it both hilarious and a kind of… _ironic_? Why are you not laughing? I am asking you: why are you not frigging laughing, huh?!”

Yuzuru’s voice broke on the highest, practically hysterical note, and Javier grabbed him by an elbow. He dragged him towards exit forcefully.

Javier had left a couple of banknotes next to his empty plate and Yuzuru’s still unfinished milkshake. It was more than enough.

“ _Stop it_. We are leaving now.”

Yuzuru was trembling, his legs moving robotically — a dispassionate void budding itself inside his heaving chest like a toxic flower, his strengths thawing from the latest fit of distress, attrition kicking in. He couldn’t remember when the last time he flew off the handle in such an ugly way happened.

He didn’t resist in the slightest as Javier pushed him into the front seat of the car, slamming the door shut with a loud bang.

Javier was silent, a visible crease between his brows being the only indication of his inner state. He took a pack of cigarettes out of a glove box and lighted up one, taking a deep drag — nicotine bitterness calming his nerves down a little. He stretched the burning cigarette to Yuzuru and ignited the car engine. He watched Yuzuru take it into his long tapered fingers, taking a single pull carefully. He exhaled the smoke slowly before handling it back to the older man, his face wincing contemptuously.

“I have never been a fan of smoking. It is disgusting.”

Javier wanted to note that he actually thought that Yuzuru liked some of the _way more disgusting_ _things_ but bit his tongue at the last moment, telling instead, that he had something in mind as their next destination and adding that he was pretty sure Yuzuru would find it quite agreeable and diverting.

**

A grand entertaining mall in the city downtown was particularly crowded at those early evening hours, people willing to spend money and get high on artificial joy; numerous smiling faces mingling themselves into a formless colorful spot in front of Yuzuru’s still bleary vision. He looked distracted most of the time; Javier’s attempts to get a sincere and not a nauseatingly fake smile out of him failing one after the other. Strange melancholy had taken him over and it was hard to shake away a sense of a detached inner _numbness_ he was feeling.

Yuzuru asked himself _why_ the senior man would even bother, in the first place, because it really looked like he did try to get some kind of a lively response out of him. In fact, Yuzuru knew how to pretend very well, the problem was that he didn’t feel like doing it while he was around the Spaniard and it puzzled and unnerved him greatly, making him feel on the edge constantly.

Javier’s eyes were flashing at Yuzuru with undiluted mischief and it felt _very strange_ to be the one _getting entertained_ instead of being in an accustomed role of entertainer himself.

It almost felt _too_ right, _too_ natural, _too_ _easy to get used to_ and it scared Yuzuru to no end.

They played videogames seated in front of a huge plasma TV: Javier getting childishly excited and exclaiming in a language Yuzuru didn’t understand, his bottom lip bitten in ardor and Yuzuru — quietly eliminating his enemies without a hitch, while staring at the screen as if his main weapon of choice were his deadly eyes. Javier was very good at this violent video _shooter_ but he had to admit his defeat that particular time. He was watching Yuzuru’s facial expression in the corner of his eye and there was something imperceptibly _obscure_ in his pale concentrated features.

Javier didn’t notice a young man with a pair of piercing almond-shaped eyes, watching each of their interactions intently, from under a peak of his cap with a silvery logo of a _spider_ embroidered on its dark fabric.

Javier proposed buying Yuzuru a cotton candy and Yuzuru was audacious enough to smack him on the shoulder quite harshly. Pouting his lips he told him that he wanted to go to the skating rink and Javier had to confess that he had never skated once in his whole life. Yuzuru responded that, in fact, he wouldn’t mind seeing Javier splayed on the hard surface of the ice, after a succession of harsh falls at all, and added that he would have definitely found the sight to be highly _amusing_.

Javier didn’t know for sure if that was just a peculiar attempt at humor by Yuzuru but he made a mental note that he would distinctly need to temper some of the boy’s defiant nature later.

Javier has always been particularly good at _taming_.

But for now, he only burst out with some strained laughter.

As they were walking past one of the jewelry shops, Javier pulled Yuzuru inside. He took him by his fragile wrist and, after placing it on the transparent glass of the counter, asked the saleslady for something _worthy_ of a porcelain skin that was on display in front of her. Javier added he didn’t care about the price only that the bracelet had to be just as _exquisite_ and _beautifully-crafted_ as the owner of the chiseled wrist himself.

Yuzuru tried to yank his hand away, his cheeks heating up from a barely concealed resentment. He didn’t need such expensive non-explicable gifts, such gestures of nonchalance and condescension thrown at him as if to make him feel _even more_ valueless and dependent. It _hurt_ and he felt like yelling straight to Javier’s smug face that he _couldn’t be bought_ with feigned fondness and humiliating generosity, couldn’t be lured into believing that the older man _really meant it_ from the bottom of his heart. Yuzuru wasn’t that _shallow_ to let a collar be put around his neck, even if it would have been made of pure gold and strewn with diamonds.

“I don’t like it.”

“Why? You don’t like brilliants and sapphires or..?”

Javier’s tone was dripping with sneer and Yuzuru felt honestly insulted.

“No, I just don’t like pompous overly confident money men, who consider themselves omnipotent enough to buy everything and everyone around them.”

Javier took Yuzuru away from the counter and from a confusingly-smiling shop-assistant, his blood rushing to his temples. Yet, he somehow managed to make his voice remain completely even. It was starting to get quite amusing and Javier was absolutely addicted to accepting any challenges, especially the ones which involved some showy young boys.

Yuzuru was positively driving him nuts and he wasn’t capable of naming the sole reason _why_.

“Tell me what you need then.”

A pause filled with momentary hesitating, that seemed to last for eternity, followed his soft demand.

“Ok… Let’s go, I’ll show you the way.”

**

They were driving through rapidly darkening lanes once again; Yuzuru showing the way through forsakenly looking crooked streets, which brought them to a sketchy neighborhood in the suburbs. There was a small store with a shabby sign on its door —cheap trifles and old junk serving as its prime assortment.

Javier couldn’t fathom what on earth might Yuzuru possibly want there.

A grey-haired, commonly but neatly dressed woman, greeted Yuzuru with a tiny acknowledging nod and Javier watched him smile in return with _true fondness_ for the first time on that day.

“How are you doing, my sweet boy?”

“I am fine. Thank you, Akiko-san.”

Yuzuru bent over the counter by Javier’s side, his eyes obviously searching for something _particular_ among all of the innumerable sixpenny trinketry that was available in the shop. His face seemingly lit up when he finally set his eyes on the very thing he was searching for —a pendant of turquoise Murano glass, made in the form of a butterfly with its wings spread wide.

_La mariposa._

It was astonishingly simple, yet Javier’s heart skipped a beat when Yuzuru took off the neckerchief and put it on, around his graceful neck. Its glassy surface was shining faintly against his ivory smooth skin, the bluish shade of the bijouterie strangely matching the lewd _marks_ that were scattered over his slender neck. Javier realized he couldn’t tear his eyes away if his life depended on it.

It looked perfect. _He_ looked perfect.

“ _This.”_

Yuzuru’s voice sounded huskier than usual, as his fingertips were grazing over the polished surface of the trinket in absentminded and tender touches, which were setting a wildfire in Javier’s underbelly.

He didn’t really need hearing any specification to buy it for the boy immediately, for a price that he deemed nothing but laughable; its true worth and symbolic meaning known only to the two of them.

**


	3. III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mere thought that he couldn’t possibly have Yuzuru without a remnant pained Javier to no end. He would make him his own and on his terms only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me longer than I expected to write this. Also, some explicit content is present in this chapter, including binding and strangulation, as well as some implied cheating. So, please, be warned.

**

They came to Javier’s apartment like the last time but it didn’t impress Yuzuru the way it had earlier. Quite the opposite, the condo seemed _orphaned_ to Yuzuru: its luxury dissolved in darkness, only vague outlines of furniture and considerable expanse of the hall meeting the eye. Huge panoramic windows were the only source of illumination, city lights dancing on the walls and floor intricately.

He didn’t feel repressed by its opulence anymore, on the contrary, it felt paradoxically _pitiful_ , as if its owner was trying too hard in accommodating all of the corresponding attributes of wealth in one confined space.

  _Echoing hollowness._

It was silent except for their ragged breathing. Yuzuru closed his eyes, trying to relax. He knew full well what was about to come and he didn’t need to turn around and see Javier’s face to feel his arousal.    

_“Don’t move. Stay still.”_

Javier spoke quietly yet sternly, his voice wrapping Yuzuru’s will like thick honey with its cunning sweetness. He clearly indicated that he wanted to be in lead, dominating motive present in each slide of his hands, as he was taking Yuzuru’s shirt off with a well-controlled yearning. Javier’s strong fingers outlined Yuzuru’s exposed back — his protruding shoulder blades and each vertebra well-defined beneath the delicate paleness of his smooth skin. There was something almost _clinical_ in the way Javier was studying Yuzuru’s naked body: unwavering and demanding, his touches scorching Yuzuru with their barely concealed need and dominance, making him shiver under their brazen onslaught.

 _Javier was openly greedy._ He wanted _all of him_ , his gnawing desire maddening. He kneeled behind Yuzuru, pulling his underwear all the way down, to the boy’s thin ankles, his hot breath tickling the swell of Yuzuru’s perfect ass. He inhaled deeply, soaking in his heady scent — a faint fragrance of vanilla mixing itself with something indecipherable, yet being _distinctly Yuzuru_ at the same time. It made Javier’s want of devouring him unbearable; his own all-encompassing hunger seeming scary even to himself. He would have _consumed_ the trembling flesh in front of him if he could, savoring each _bite_ and _lick_ , claiming the boy as his in the most feral of ways, his desire to swallow him verging on a practically _cannibalistic_ one.

The mere thought that he couldn’t possibly have Yuzuru without a remnant pained Javier to no end. He would make him his own and on _his_ terms only.       

The next moment Javier felt Yuzuru’s palm at the back of his head — pressing him impossibly closer, acknowledging his own desperate need unabashedly. It made Javier’s insides feel molten from the burning lust within him.

He grabbed both of Yuzuru’s wrists forcefully and secured them behind his back with a single, loathed piece of bluish fabric, the ugly neckerchief finally come in handy. Yuzuru tried to jerk away, his chest starting to rise and fall visibly, heartbeat accelerating, as a surge of adrenaline from being bound kicked in, a peculiar mix of indignation and excitement sweeping him over. The harder Yuzuru was trying to free his tied hands, the tighter the scarf around his delicate wrists felt. He didn’t want to let the situation spiral out of his control so completely and all at once. Yuzuru didn’t give his permission to be bound and he was hugely irritated by the realization that the Spaniard didn’t even bother asking whether he would be fine with it or not. He was caught off guard by such audacious _display of power_ , once again finding himself trapped in the clingy feeling of being treated like a marionette which was meant only to please, devoid the right for human dignity and self-worth of any kind. Not that he was totally unfamiliar with the derogatory sense of being used so blatantly but somehow it stung particularly _bad_ to be treated like this by Javier.

Yuzuru cursed under his breath, a little breathless “ _no”_ escaping his lips before he knew it. He felt Javier smile against the small of his back, nuzzling him tenderly, as if trying to calm a wild horse.

“I have told you to stand still, remember? So, please, be a good boy and do not disappoint me. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Each of the older man’s words was laced with an assurance so _dark_ it made Yuzuru tremble from unmistakable excitement, which was impossible to conceal and for which he found it extremely easy to despise himself — he didn’t want to be a simple puppet in Javier’s clever hands, the fact was that he desired exactly the opposite. He could definitely let the cocky Spaniard reign for the time being but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t _take_ anything in return when the time comes.

Yuzuru was acutely aware of the way Javier’s fingers were shivering, tracing his slender waist and sides, as if he was some kind of an unknown deity worshipped with unholy reverence; the man’s wet, open-mouthed kisses were branding Yuzuru’s flesh with their unbridled passion. He moaned helplessly, throwing his head back in rapture, pulling at the restraints helplessly as he felt Javier’s fingers opening him up expertly.

“Let me in… _Let me in_ …”

_A feverish prayer to inflate Yuzuru’s ego with its bare want._

He would ensnare Javier in the older man’s own uncontrollable desire of having him. It didn’t seem that hard to Yuzuru.

Javier was only a mere mortal, after all.

Javier guided Yuzuru to a huge window, holding him by his elbow, every next step speeding up his heartbeat. He gasped loudly as the man crushed him against the glass, his naked front and heated face being pressed into the transparent surface harshly, Javier’s strong grip at his nape and a knee between his parted legs not letting him move a bit. Yuzuru felt giddy from looking down, endless lights swimming whimsically and a crowded street living its unsuspecting life somewhere underneath. The smoothness of glass felt strangely arousing to Yuzuru, his flushed body reacting to its lifeless coldness — his pert nipples and straining cock stimulated by an unusual sensation, excitement growing exponentially. 

Yuzuru felt absolutely _exposed_ and the prospect of getting fucked against the window plane made him go weak at the knees. His warm breath was leaving wet puffs of air on the polished surface, heavy anticipation coiling in his underbelly, as Javier positioned himself behind his parted legs. He penetrated Yuzuru in one needful thrust, burying himself all the way to the hilt, inside his quivering tightness — the boy’s high-pitched cry making him lose the remnants of his sanity. Yuzuru was clenching around him divinely and it felt _so_ _right it_ _hurt_.

Javier wasn’t in the mood for containing his craving obviously, his hips snapping forward demandingly — ramming _in_ and _in_ and _in_. He set a punishing rhythm, Yuzuru’s body sliding up and down the glass from the impact of his forceful fucking as Javier couldn’t stop for a moment, melting into his shamelessly arching partner, engaged in the most primal of acts. Yuzuru whined and keened and thrashed against Javier’s muscular form, feeling so _raw_ and _vulnerable_ and _enraptured_ , hot tears sprinkling from beneath his tightly squeezed eyelids.

A thought that, perhaps, he was _too_ violent, flashed in Javier’s fogged mind momentarily, but the indescribably _wanton_ sounds he was coaxing out of Yuzuru only spurred his uncontrollable need further.

Javier yanked Yuzuru by the string around his neck, tightening it in his fist and making the _butterfly pendant_ dig into the tender skin of the boy’s neck sharply. Yuzuru choked on a strangled moan, his cock twitching from the sudden shortage of oxygen, mouth falling open in a voiceless scream, as he found himself on the very precipice of a powerful orgasm.

Blood was hammering in Javier’s temples and he felt like _suffocating_ _too_ , as Yuzuru was fluttering around him in his vicious ecstasy, each of his nerve endings ablaze, heady delight flooding his every cell — coming hard all over the window glass.

Javier pulled out and threw a condom away, giving himself a couple of sloppy strokes before painting Yuzuru’s sweaty back and tied up hands with his essence; his heart was pounding against his ribcage painfully. Yuzuru’s legs gave out and he slumped to the floor, hardly aware of his surroundings, his post-orgasmic bliss numbing his senses with overflowing _fullness_.

A dull ache was shooting all the way up to Yuzuru’s tensed shoulders, as Javier finally found it in him to move and free his wrists. The boy whimpered in discomfort softly. Reality started to set in again, as Javier was descending from the pleasurable heights slowly, a distinct chills running through his whole body.

Javier picked Yuzuru up and took him to his bed, arranging the bedcovers to cover the boy’s exhausted form. He looked so _fragile_ and _peaceful_ : dark strands clinging to his sweaty forehead, hard-bitten scarlet lips parting with each labored breath he was taking. Javier felt a frighteningly strong pull to just bend over Yuzuru and kiss his tempting lips but he turned away instead, closing his eyes tiredly, a sudden sense of imminent _loss_ blighting the tranquility of the moment.

Javier couldn’t fall asleep for a long time, staring into darkness and listening to Yuzuru’s slowly calming down breathing.

**

Yuzuru woke up alone, stretching in bed lazily, lecherous images of last night still too vivid in his mind. His fingers closed around the turquoise butterfly, which was hanging around his neck, instinctively, as if the pendant had always belonged there, its presence unexplainably comforting to him.

Everything around was oddly silent, not a single sound indicating that Javier hadn’t gone away. It was a bit strange and Yuzuru felt uneasy from the probability of having been locked in the other man’s apartment. It wasn’t the case though, for when he was heading to the bathroom to take a much necessary shower, he stumbled across a note and some banknotes, left on the kitchen table. The note was written on a plain white sheet in Javier’s messy handwriting and the bills smelled quite new.

_Take the money. The keys are in the corridor. I’ll be back late but I want to see you here, waiting for me in my bed, just as eager as you were the night before._

_P.S. Don’t call me._

_– J._

It not only meant that Yuzuru had the rest of the day all for himself but it also showcased that Javier couldn’t get enough of him. Both of the thoughts made Yuzuru smile inwardly.

Hot water was soothing Yuzuru’s muscles pleasantly, washing away the stiffness, even though he was feeling a bit sore still. He made a mental note that the Spaniard truly had a temperament of a _beast_ and that he would definitely need asking Javier to control himself better in the future.

Yuzuru was rummaging through the kitchen in a search of green tea (to no avail) when his mobile phone blinked from an incoming sms message.

It was from Boyang.

_I saw you yesterday. With him. I didn’t like what I saw. D. is looking for you everywhere so you better stay under the radar for a while. Call me as soon as you can._

Yuzuru rolled his eyes at his friend’s known overprotectiveness. He decided to talk to Boyang later, not being in the mood for another lection on his supposed light-mindedness. Though, he didn’t want Boyang worry too much because of him. Yuzuru sent him a short sms, his reply not informative but slightly reassuring, all the same.

 _I am fine, Bo. I’ll call you_ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

**

Yuzuru wasn’t thinking of ethics or suffering from unresolved moral dilemmas as he was looking through Javier’s belonging in all of the available drawers: plenty of expensive shirts and just as expensive ties, a pair of silver cufflinks and several elegant suites — nothing overly suspicious, simply some things of a successful businessman who also happens to carry around a gun. Yuzuru assured his inner voice that he was absolutely fine with the fact.

**

The time of spending money always flew by swiftly and, pretty soon, Yuzuru found himself at the entrance of his final planned destination — a trendy lingerie shop. He didn’t need to spare money this time and he had every wish to indulge himself, explaining to a generically smiling shop-assistant that _his_ _picky_ _girlfriend_ was really fond of white lingerie. After rejecting nearly a dozen of proposed lingerie sets, he opted for a particularly lacy and see-through slip, complimenting the choice of his with a pair of silky stockings and a garter belt.

Yuzuru knew he would look irresistibly _angelic_ , making Javier’s downfall into the darkest pit of libidinous _Hell_ inevitable. To tell the truth, he found it to be sincerely amusing.

“Pack it for me, please.”

As he was standing by the counter waiting, he felt someone’s intense gaze bore into him. He turned around only to see _René_ standing behind, the distance between them seemingly nonexistent. Details of the man’s appearance were imprinting themselves into Yuzuru’s instantly alerted consciousness: his indispensible black leather gloves and his shiny sumptuous watches, an impeccable knot of his tie and blinding whiteness of his shirt… René’s eyes remained dull and listless, though.

_“I will pay twice if you wear it for me next time.”_

Yuzuru’s breath hitched from the crude _want_ lurking in the man’s eyes.

René squeezed Yuzuru’s fingers in his briefly before stepping away from him, acting as if they were complete strangers, all of a sudden. Later, Yuzuru saw an elegantly looking woman with a golden-haired, little girl approaching  René near the shop exit. It sent his stomach into knots.

It also happened to be the only time he saw René’s face _beam_ , his gloved hand touching the top of the girl’s head fondly.  

Yuzuru looked down on the floor, taking his purchase and wanting to leave the lingerie shop as soon as possible, a faint pink crawling up his neck and over his chiseled cheekbones.

_It felt so nauseatingly wrong._

**


	4. IV.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuzuru experiences a series of flashbacks and a sudden realization which makes his whole world turn upside down momentarily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long-postponed continuation of the fic. Once again, thank you all for reading and following the series. Also, please note that the tags are there for a reason.  
> Enjoy.

**

Yuzuru comes back to Javier’s condo when it is already dark, he throws the apartment keys away without a second thought and catches a glimpse of himself in the corridor mirror — a young man in a formal black suit is looking back at him unblinkingly, face blank. The sight feels alien as Yuzuru continues staring at _the stranger_ reflected in the mirror; he can’t remember when was the last time he was wearing a tie and he hated the particular article of fabric around his neck, finding it to be pretentious and nauseating. He feels like crawling out of his skin, wanting to tear it away. Yuzuru loosens the tie knot irritatingly, noticing the way his fingers are trembling slightly.

 _It is_ _too much_ , way too much for a day which hasn’t even come to an end yet.

He drops to the floor at the foot of the bed, knees drawing up to his chin protectively, not caring whether it would possibly rumple the expensive costume he is dressed into.

His head is pounding, brain overflown with images and brief reminiscences of the two encounters he has had earlier that day — one planned and the other absolutely unexpected, yet both disheartening, each in its own way…

**

_Kikuchi-san’s ever-knowing eyes were scanning him from head to toe. The very moment he had stepped into the old man’s modest home they never left him for a millisecond: boring through him, resting at the back of his head or capturing his own restless gaze with their immovable resolve. It felt unnerving and Yuzuru, at long last, snapped:_

_“What?”_

_The answer came in an instant, as if Kikuchi-san was waiting for a question to come all along, his single-worded response being ready. It was curt and equally unforgiving._

_“_ _血_ _”_

_Blood._

_Yuzuru clenched his jaw tensely, a glass he was washing squeezed in his hand in a gesture of a barely concealed irritation. He was fed up with the old man’s penchant for speaking in riddles and mysterious prophecies._

_“What is this supposed to mean?” Yuzuru barked out, his voice visibly strained._

_Kikuchi-san rose from the table, he had been sitting at, and took a couple of measured steps towards the wide-eyed young man he cared about so much._

_“It means life. It means death…You’ll understand. Perhaps, not now but you will.”_

_Yuzuru scowled, wanting to leave immediately, knowing full well that the more he asked the more new, mainly unanswered, questions would arise. Yet, he kept on standing still, unable to move, the grey-haired man’s shrewd stare gluing him to the spot._

_When the distance between them became practically non-existent, Kikuchi-san traced a turquoise pendant around Yuzuru’s neck with his crooked, wrinkly fingers._

_“Butterflies can’t fly with their wings torn, regardless of what they might think.”_

_Yuzuru winced. Stark, heady scent of some unknown herbs, the old man’s hand was smelling of, assaulted his senses and added an extra ounce to his annoyance. Was the damned, self-proclaimed wise-man simply ridiculing him..?_

_Yuzuru pushed Kikuchi-san’s hand away harshly._

_“I think it’s already time… I have to go.”_

_He muttered under his breath quietly, refusing to look at the old man’s face and rushing to the door, not bothering to hide his desire to leave as soon as possible. Yuzuru heard Kikuchi-san shouting, just before he closed the door behind him._

_“You won’t be able to run forever, my precious boy…”_

_Yuzuru’s heart was in his throat as he was running down the flights of stairs at a breakneck speed._

**

The surroundings of Javier’s luxurious apartment were sinking in again slowly, dispelling the gloom of the old man’s den from Yuzuru’s agitated mind. He hugged himself, shivering: the coldness of the floor sending a chill up his spine. Sighing, he threw his head back to rest at the foot of the bed, closing his eyes and thinking of what had been in store for him upon his return from Kikuchi-san. The mere remembrance of a completely unexpected encounter that followed filled him with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, which had only been intensified by Kikuchi-san’s previously declared, self-made prophecies.

**

_Yuzuru sensed someone else’s presence unmistakably the moment he stepped into, the supposedly empty, Javier’s condo. He turned on the lights and saw a figure of a short, yet extremely muscular, man standing in the middle of the room with his hands folded patiently in front of him. The man had his dark hair slicked and his charcoal-black eyes were glowing with something akin amusement, albeit it was very well- hidden behind his seemingly reserved countenance. He looked as if he had been waiting for Yuzuru’s return for quite some time already._

_Yuzuru froze and then took a step back, a mildly shocked expression written all over his confused face. The mysterious man reacted immediately, his hands drawn up in a pacifying gesture, voice sounding as calm as possible._

_“Oh, I apologize for not introducing myself immediately. My name is Felipe Montoya and I am a friend of Javier…Well, his colleague, to be exact. I am here to tell you that he is going to come back later than it was initially expected but there is absolutely no need to worry, I assure you.”_

_The man’s sugary smile, which followed, looked incredibly forced to Yuzuru, and it didn’t help in slowing down his erratic, adrenaline-rushed heartbeat in the slightest. He remained as alert as ever while the stranger continued._

_“Well, we have something pleasant to fill the remainder of the evening with. I think that you’ll definitely enjoy a good meal with a mighty fine man, who is so eager to get acquainted with you. His intensions are harmless and are of pure curiosity, for he has known Javier for such a long time and he does care about him deeply. I need you to get dressed appropriately to the occasion and then, please, follow me to a car which is already waiting for us downstairs. But I implore you to hurry up because Mr. Orser doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”_

_Felipe’s mawkish tone and submissive smile were making Yuzuru want to throw up._

_“And what if I say no? Maybe, I am not in the mood for new acquaintances… ”_

_Yuzuru raised his eyebrow a bit haughtily. The boundaries of permissible which could be crossed without repercussions had to be found out, at least._

_“I am afraid Mr. Orser is not the one who takes “no” for an answer. Here, please, let me help you getting dressed.”_

_Montoya helped Yuzuru with a tie knot and a pair of silver cufflinks, which Yuzuru thought, looked exactly like the ones he had previously seen while rummaging through some of Javier’s drawers. The dark, well-tailored suit and a white shirt, he was provided with, not only looked expensive, they truly felt like it: impeccable smoothness of noble fabric unfamiliarly caressing his skin, at the same time, making him paradoxically feel like a fish out of water._

_Yuzuru smirked. If this Mr. Orser wanted to impress him he would better try harder._

_Yuzuru was taken to a fancy restaurant in a black limousine with a leather interior and, in no more than twenty minutes, he found himself seated at a table in front of the man himself._

_Mr. Orser looked nothing like he had imagined before: his crystal-clear blue eyes shining kindly in an almost fatherly manner, his whole countenance radiating ease and unostentatious confidence. He was well-mannered and his voice was always quiet while he was speaking, seemingly permeating into one’s very soul, its silky overtones wrapping one’s mind like a cottonwool._

_Yuzuru was treated with some delicious black caviar and exquisite_ _Dom Pérignon_ _. Even though he seldom drank alcohol, he was already finishing his third glass of champagne, while listening to the senior man’s endless praises to his “most beloved protégé and practically a son” Javier. Yuzuru had no idea why on earth Orser was telling him all of this, as if he was expecting them to be married soon and now was afraid that Yuzuru might suddenly change his mind and run away at the very last moment, right before the start of their wedding ceremony. Seriously, he couldn’t quite grasp Orser’s hidden agenda and it was getting on his nerves constantly. It had to be noted, that, although, the man’s manner was undoubtedly patronal_ _—_ _it was increasingly hard not to succumb to his inborn charms and wit._

_Yuzuru licked his lips a little apprehensively, the senior man’s gaze never leaving his face, before speaking._

_“Mr. Orser, please, tell me…”_

_“I want you to call me Brian, Yuzuru. Please.”_

_Orser’s whole countenance was beaming with complete openness and trust._

_“Ok…Brian… Why exactly did you want us to meet..? Was it only for talking about what a great person Javier is and nothing else?”_

_Orser’s podgy fingers caught Yuzuru’s slender ones into a sweaty, firm grip. Yuzuru didn’t dare to yank his hand away as the man’s lively eyes suddenly became stern and intense._

_“You see, I care about Javi very much. I really do, my boy…And the last thing I want is for any of you to get hurt in one way or another… I sense a change in him, it is still a minor one, yet, it is obvious for someone who has known him for such a long time. Now, after seeing you with my own eyes, I can understand how he has become so smitten with you… perhaps, without even fully realizing the fact himself… But I can definitely see that he truly is, Yuzuru. I want you to tell me truthfully what your own feelings for Javier are?”_

_The man’s tone was simultaneously serene and decisive, as if an option of not actually giving him a definite answer was out of question for Yuzuru, and he had to lay his soul bare there and then, before this enigmatic man, on that very table, between two unfinished glasses of exclusive champagne._

_Too bad, it was a special “dish” Yuzuru had all of the determination in the world to keep to himself alone._

_“I think you know what I do for living and so… Javier is simply one of my clients. That’s about it, Brian. There is nothing to tell about, really.”_

_Orser scrunched up his face in distaste as if Yuzuru had uttered the silliest thing on earth and the younger man became instantly aware of the way Brian’s hold around his fingers tightened painfully._

_“Yes, I know that you are a mere boy-prostitute and I bet that everyone in this spacious restaurant hall knows it too, not even an Armani suit being able to conceal your so-called “professional veneer” which just screams “whore” every time you lick your pretty lips or make one of your peculiar little gestures that are meant to provoke filthy desires in those watching you. You may lower your eyes, faking innocence in whatever way you deem fit, but it doesn’t change your nature, or the fact, that the elderly gentleman_ _—_ _right over that table, is now looking at us, thinking that after we finish our dinner I am going to take you to a hotel room to fuck you there for every single cent I have paid for your mighty fine ass…Oh, and, by the way, I am positively sure that you would easily let me had I only offer you a sufficient sum… Yet, it doesn’t mean that I don’t think you deserve to be treated like a human being_ _—_ _with some respect, even though, remnants of your self-worth and dignity may very well be fucked into nonexistence by all of your innumerable clients…”_

_The man’s cold, cynical tone and sudden spitefulness of his cruel words made Yuzuru’s heart leap into his throat. He was trying to free his hand from Orser’s forceful hold, albeit to no avail._

_“Stop acting like a child! It is me who decides when and for whom it is time to leave…I can ruin you. I can ruin him too or I can make you an offer which you will never be able to turn down…Too bad, I see no point in doing it…For you’ll crawl to me yourself when he ditches you like a fuck-toy that you are. He is too good for you… He is too hard to handle and he’ll break you, eventually… Mark my words! But I know exactly what you need and I can provide it: a control, a degree of potence you had never known before and, at last, the thing you are coveting the most_ _—_ _freedom…You just have to ask, beauty… ”_

_“You are terribly wrong! You think you are all wise and shit but there is nothing I might need from you, nor I ever will and it is none of your business of what is really going on between me and Javier and…By the way, that “elderly gentleman over that table” is wrong too because I would have never let you fuck me, not even for a million of dollars…You, pretentious prick!”_

_Yuzuru spat his indignant, improvised speech out loudly, before rushing to the restaurant entrance, sizzling. He was sick, sick from all the condescending gazes he was getting, and the little laughs behind his back which he knew were caused by an ugly scene he had made everyone witness; he could practically hear their thoughts in his head: “oh, it looks like this cute little wimp has decided to show who is in charge to his big daddy…How entertaining…”_

_It was starting to rain, and Yuzuru felt a few heavy raindrops hit the heated skin of his burning cheeks. He bit his tongue, wanting to just run without thinking, so that his legs would take him somewhere_ _—_ _anywhere. He didn’t care at the moment, his thoughts racing in his head confusedly. He thought about taking the damned suit off right there, in the middle of the street, to throw it into a nearest trash can: he’d walk completely nude then, just the way he was born, shed of vileness and dirt, exposed yet proud, his head holding up high…_

_A pair of strong arms encircled Yuzuru’s shivering form from behind and after a couple of desperate attempts at freeing himself, he slackened in Felipe’s persisting grasp. He let himself be put into the backseat of a waiting black limousine without any further resistance._

_“Please, do not worry! I was told to take you to Javier’s apartment safely. There is no need to be so unhinged. Everything will be fine, you’ll see…”_

_Montoya was driving silently while Yuzuru was staring through the glass of a car window with unseeing eyes._

_He opened and closed the condo doors mechanically, ambient stillness enveloping him, his head hanging humiliatingly low._

**

Yuzuru rose from the floor finally, glancing at the wall clock, designed as if it was taken straight from one of Salvador Dali’s surrealistic paintings.

His gut feeling told him that _he_ was about to be there soon.

He had to be ready.

Yuzuru took off the suit, each motion of his well-controlled and calculated — completely detached from the fire which was currently raging beneath his calm façade. Having opened a window, a gust of night wind making his skin break into goosebumps, he threw the accursed costume away, watching it fly down loosely, disappearing into the darkness, somewhere far below. The picture provided him with some twisted sort of satisfaction.

Yuzuru went to the bathroom, taking a quick shower and then rubbing some of almond-scented oil, he had previously bought, into his pleasantly refreshed skin. Standing in front of a mirror, he applied some of the black mascara and eyeliner and some vibrant-red lipstick with a trained hand: his eyes now seeming even more enticing and the perfect curve of his lips being accentuated with sinful crimson. His jet black hair was still wet, yet he left it as it was — slightly disheveled, plastered against his forehead, tickling the back of his neck. He put on a pair of silky white stockings and a matching garter belt, which complimented his long, slender legs and temptingly shapely hips. Sliding his arms into thin shoulder straps of a virginally-white, see-through slip, which went barely past his firm buttocks and didn’t conceal the smooth expanse of his flat stomach or tender buds of his dusky nipples, he looked at his own reflection appraisingly. He slid his palm down his chiseled torso unhurriedly, brushing his already awakening cock through the soft fabric, anticipation mixed with heavy arousal coiling in his underbelly, his eyelids languidly half-closed.

The door to the apartment closed with a loud bang, startling Yuzuru, as he heard Javier’s confident steps drawing nearer, his heart pounding against his heaving chest. Javier stopped at the opened bathroom door, behind Yuzuru, their gazes interlocking somewhere in the parallel universe of the large mirror, which was reflecting both of them — silent and frozen in place, too taken aback by each other’s appearance to utter a single syllable.

Yuzuru tried to comprehend what he was seeing, for Javier looked nothing short of a _demon_ _incarnated_ , as if possessed by some kind of an evil force: his eyes blazing widely, full-blown pupils flooding the irises, making them seem scarily black, his chapped lips swollen, a string of dried blood running down his chin and onto his neck, where his pulse point was beating unsteadily.

He _reeked of_ _death_ and there was some more blood, noticeably staining his plain t-shirt. Yuzuru was, by no means, sure that _the blood_ was actually Javier’s own and it made him flinch involuntarily.

Javier bared his teeth in an almost feral grin and the next moment Yuzuru felt the older man’s strong arms closing around his visibly shivering form, a rather telling bulge pressing to his backside from behind. Javier’s rough lips were grazing the delicate skin of Yuzuru’s nape as his palm slid lower to caress the boy’s inner thigh, fingers moving with unhidden urgency, as Javier was reveling at the contrast of silky fabric and even silkier unblemished skin of his young lover.

A lewd moan escaped Yuzuru as he tilted his head to the side, providing Javier better access to his neck — the Spaniard’s hungry, open-mouthed kisses setting his whole body aflame. He caught himself thinking that there was _actual_ blood on the lips, that were currently assaulting his skin so demandingly, and yet, it sent a jolt of electricity through his veins, making him forget how to breathe from the sheer intensity of perverse excitement he was feeling.

Javier took him in his hand, stroking firmly and Yuzuru keened helplessly, his release building shamefully fast inside his heated body.

All of a sudden, his blurring vision focused with miraculous sharpness on Javier’s unzipped bag, to his right, which had been carelessly abandoned on the tiled floor. Yuzuru’s eyes open widely at what he saw inside, pieces of a previously disjointed puzzle forming a now clear picture: sumptuous and _unmistakably familiar-looking_ watches along with a shiny pistol grip imprinted themselves at the back of his hazy mind, his world seemingly collapsing around him in a flash of a momentary, dreadful realization.

  _René_ _._

_And his small, angel-faced, golden-haired girl with his elegantly looking young wife._

Yuzuru didn’t want to think anymore.

“Cum for me, baby…c’mon…”

Javier whispered coarsely, his tongue thrusting wetly into Yuzuru’s ear, matching the rhythm of his stroking hand.

Yuzuru was thrashing violently as he came hard all over Javier’s milking hand, scream dying at his lips unborn, uninvited tears stinging beneath his tightly squeezed eyelids and streaming down his pale cheeks, leaving in their wake traces of smeared mascara.

Yuzuru didn’t want to think anymore…

And so he didn’t.

**


	5. V.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too far gone to care…   
> Too lost in the deep to get to the surface again…  
> A little death to resurrect anew…  
> Wings of a butterfly to be carried away...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter (which is explicit-explicit! I warn you, guys ;)) concludes this part of the “Obscure” series. The series are to be continued in the installment(s) that is/are yet to follow.

**

Javier’s fingertip was tracing the wings of a turquoise pendant Yuzuru was wearing, repressing a sudden urge to fist and squash it. He looked at his lover into a mirror: dazed and defenseless — dilated black of his pupils and vibrant-red of his trembling lips seeming achingly beautiful in Javier’s eyes. Adrenaline and arousal still coursing inside his system were making him dizzy. Yuzuru turned in his arms, locking his eyes with Javier: the smeared mascara in the pathway of his spilled tears against the porcelain of his cheeks — an equally wrecked and enticing vision. Javier bent to lick the saltiness off his skin but Yuzuru shoved him away with a surprising force, which made Javier loose his balance momentarily. Javier’s eyelid twitched.

“What the fuck..?”

Yuzuru pointed at Javier’s unzipped bag, his facial expression inscrutable.

“ _This_.”

Javier couldn’t believe he could be so careless. It was so unlike him. His brain was now operating at its full capacity, frantically considering all possible options and scenarios.

_You’ve fucked up really bad, good old Javi_

An unexpected witness, a huge pain in the ass with some potentially grave consequences due to his own nonchalance. It was utterly stupid to draw the boy into all of the mess. What if he would start blabbing? Somehow, Javier had a feeling that simple excuses and straight-forward lies won’t be sufficient. He couldn’t bring himself to threatening right away too, Yuzuru simply didn’t deserve this. Javier buried his fingers in the hair, frustration and exhaustion raking over his overstrained body.

Yuzuru was biting his lips, obviously unnerved. 

“I am not here to judge you and it is none of my business…I just…I..I think it is better for me to leave and…Let’s forget about it, about _everything_.”

He was struggling with words, stammering; frantic beating of his heart somewhere in his throat, thoughts running amok in now seemingly useless head. Yuzuru cursed under his breath, thinking that he didn’t sign himself in for all of this: hooking up with a hitman and that creep _Brian_ , who had also be taken into an equation. He had to act quick and decisive, René’s face in front of his mind’s eye making his movements shaky. Yuzuru practically fled into the bedroom, taking off his see-through slip along the way, clad only in a pair of silky white stockings and a garter belt. He was rummaging through his handbag in search for some paper tissues as he heard a silent rustling behind.   

“Wait…Don’t go.”

The sheer brokenness of Javier’s quiet plea made Yuzuru freeze as he looked around to see Javier on his hands and knees, crawling slowly towards him, resignation making his usually sharp features seem heartbreakingly soft. Yuzuru’s breath caught in his throat and he blinked a couple of times, unable to take his eyes away from Javier and his unabashedly shown vulnerability. He looked like a lost child at the moment and Yuzuru didn’t find it in him to push Javier away, as he kneeled at his feet lowly, looking up at Yuzuru with a pained expression.

“This one night…Please.”

_A lost child with blood on his hands._

Javier slid his hand up the silky fabric, over Yuzuru’s calf and knee, all the way up to the smooth expanse of his inner thigh.

He wanted the boy to stay, if only one last time, if only till the dawn when they’ll part their ways forever. He didn’t need pity, he didn’t seek forgiveness or atonement he just longed for the lively, comforting warmth he was currently feeling beneath his fingertips. He needed _more_ , the mere thought of staying alone being appalling to him. He knew it was dangerous, he knew it was probably reckless and egoistic, yet it felt absolutely _right_ and so overwhelmingly _humane_.   

Yuzuru shivered, closing his eyes, his resolve dissipating steadily as Javier’s hands were exploring his body languidly: thumb grazing one of his pert nipple, palm staying on his waist in a soothing manner. Javier was demanding and the darkest glint of his eyes made Yuzuru feel powerless, his body pliant beneath his hands and mouth as he was relishing every inch of his still oversensitive skin.

Javier pushed Yuzuru gently and he fell on the bed, lying down on his back. He was devouring the boy with his eyes, a thin trail of blood still visible on his chin and neck, making Yuzuru’s skin crawl from a peculiar mix of arousal and revulsion.

Javier took off his t-shirt, wincing slightly, and Yuzuru’s eyes widened at the sight: a nasty bruise blooming like a violet flower at the right side of the man’s ribcage — an ugly display of yet one more testimony of violence.

Yuzuru’s shiver didn’t escape Javier and he smirked, taking his time, drinking in the picture in front of his searing eyes: the boy’s erratically heaving chest and swiftly awakening cock, his whole body taut as a bowstring, a barely concealed anticipation simmering beneath his skin.   

Javier grabbed Yuzuru by the ankles, spreading his legs roughly, and eliciting a moan, which made a steady throbbing in his groin intensify noticeably.

“Look me in the eye.”

He whispered, unable to contain a tremor in his faltering voice.

Javier’s gaze never left Yuzuru’s flustered face as he took the head of his cock into his mouth, descending further slowly, his lips wrapping around the girth obscenely, till he felt the softness of dark curls tickling the tip of his nose. Yuzuru’s fingers were clenching the bed sheets and a sound he made stirred something primal inside of Javier with its naked urgency. He wanted more of the unguarded sensuality, more of the exhilarating feeling of complete openness he was currently tearing out of Yuzuru’s undeniably yielding body.

Javier was shamelessly greedy in _consuming_ and _savouring_ , in _taking_ and _making his_ — not an ounce wasted as Yuzuru came deep into his eager throat with a single loud cry. The bitter taste of the boy’s essence on his tongue shook Javier to the core; he felt as if he was participating in a sacred act of ultimate celebration of life, as shocking warmth was spilling itself somewhere inside his hyperventilating chest.  

And the next moment, he was searching for Yuzuru’s lips blindly, needing to obliterate the last barrier remaining between the two of them, his trembling fingers fumbling with the zipper of his pants with frenzied impatience. All of the tension and need, pouring out of him as if through a broken dam, was washing away his distress and despair, leaving only aching desire _to be alive_ in its burning wake.

There were no haunting lifeless eyes and no post-mortem rigid limbs at the periphery of his blurring vision. Instead, he could feel Yuzuru’s pulse beating wildly beneath his parted lips as he was kissing the boy’s smooth chest with abandon. 

_He would selfishly use him as the sweetest of remedies and he was willing to pay, regardless of the price._

A flick of a tongue over the tiny bud of a nipple and a pair of delicate hands grabbing his shoulders, short nails leaving small crescents all over his sweaty skin, were all it took for Javier to lose his head irreversibly, all coherent thoughts chased away by the feeling of raw want.

Yuzuru reached towards the bedside table for a condom but Javier threw it away without a second thought, sliding his unzipped pants down, just past his firm buttocks — something obscure lurking in his gleaming eyes.

Perhaps, it was foolish and undeniably risky but Javier was at a point where reasoning was out of question for him, too caught up in the sheer intensity of the moment.

Javier dipped two of his fingers into Yuzuru’s mouth, his velvety tongue making him shudder all over. He was feeling feverish as he was preparing him, no longer than it was absolutely necessary, each of his movements laced with blatant urgency. He was watching Yuzuru furrow his brow, mouth falling open as he was willing his body to relax around the intruding digits. Javier’s breath was hitching in his chest, beads of sweat rolling down his spine as his arousal reached a degree of being quite painful.

Having positioned himself between Yuzuru’s widely parted thighs (silky fabric of white stockings the boy was still wearing acutely evident against his heated skin) Javier pushed his hips forward. He groaned loudly, sinking into the tightness, which was clenching him almost _too hard_ to bear. He heard Yuzuru crying out and he had to summon all of his willpower not to lose it the very instant, while looking down at Yuzuru splayed out beneath him, breathing heavily in quiet wet sobs, as small tremors were wrecking his body.

_Too far gone to care... Too lost in the deep to get to the surface again…_

Javier started moving, after a seemingly endless moment of intolerable stillness inside of Yuzuru’s shuddering body; the skin separating them from each other beginning to fade as the two bodies were engaged in the most basic of rhythms, the lewd sound of naked flesh on flesh filling the room.

The musky scent of their sex was invading Javier’s senses and he bent down to lick the moist skin of Yuzuru’s neck, feeling the boy raising his hips to meet each of his thrusts in earnest. Yuzuru was getting carried away — pounded into the sheets like this, Javier’s filthy praises in his ear making breathy moans gush out of him in a carnal cadence.

Javier sucked a little butterfly pendant into his mouth unthinkingly, buried deeply inside of Yuzuru’s heat, as  surrounding reality was continuing to slip away from him. He reached his peak in mid-thrust, with an animalistic groan — a surge of pleasure blinding, sending his physical body to seeming non-existence for the minutes of pure, excruciating rapture.

_A little death to resurrect anew…_

Javier pulled out of Yuzuru, completely spent and overwhelmed — a bare wire of emotions and oversensitivity, to only feel Yuzuru yanking him by his hair roughly, making him throw his head back, as his young lover crawled up his body to straddle his face, panting and desperate. Javier was taken aback by Yuzuru’s sudden display of dominance and by the audacity of his wish, yet he didn’t even think of opposing him, penetrating Yuzuru with his tongue obediently, tasting his own semen inside. Yuzuru was gripping the headboard with both hands as he was riding his own orgasm around Javier’s invading tongue shamelessly; it didn’t take long for him to come this way, falling apart entirely — his thighs quivering from strain, vicious delight tearing at his body as he bit his bottom lip so hard he sensed a distinct flavor of copper filling his mouth.

He thought it was a miracle he didn’t pass out.

**

Javier was drained, tiredness soaking his boneless limbs. He wanted to have a cigarette but he couldn’t make himself lift a finger, surrounding world separated by his closed eyelids. He felt the bed shift as Yuzuru apparently got out of it, his bare feet slapping against the floor. The next time Javier made enough of an effort to open his eyes once again, he was greeted by a sight of the barrel of his own silvery gun pointed straight between his brows. He gulped, remembering there was a single bullet in its magazine.

Yuzuru looked totally composed, _peaceful_ even, no traces of previous make up visible on his strangely serene face. He had taken off the stockings and the garter belt as well, now wearing a pair of casually looking baggy pants and a plain, black v-neck t-shirt.

Though, azure _mariposa_ was still adorning his slender neck.

“So, how does _it_ feel..? Does _it_ bring you satisfaction?”

Javier didn’t need any specifications to catch of what exactly Yuzuru was talking about. He has already answered this question numerous times while lying wide awake in his bed, unable to fall asleep and staring into darkness which was threatening to swallow him up. What the boy wanted to hear: that _it_ gave him a sense of omnipotence and fearless confidence, spurred by the ability to seal people’s fates, or that _it_ made him feel inhuman and brutally lonesome, trapped in his own punishing circle of misery with seemingly no escape.

_Are butterflies able to descend into hell? Or more importantly_ _—_ _are they willing to..?_

“No. It doesn’t. No more than _your_ _way of living_ or, dare I say — _surviving_ , does.”

Javier was watching Yuzuru’s face intently, the tiny crease appearing on his forehead and a droplet of sweat sliding tantalizingly slow into the v-neck of his t-shirt. He saw a shadow of compassion ghosting over Yuzuru’s impeccable features.

“I didn’t ask for your pity. You are free to leave it to yourself…Undivided.”

Yuzuru lowered the gun, lying it down on the crumpled bed sheets, his shoulders sinking, yet he didn’t drop his eyes.

“I met _Brian_ today. Apparently, he wanted to have a closer look at his favourite protégé’s brand new toy.”

Javier felt his heartbeat speeding up as he sat upright abruptly, his previous lulling drowsiness forgotten entirely.

“What? You’d better stay away from the man. You know nothing of what he is capable of…He is _dangerous_ and if he wants to he can even…”

“ _I don’t care.”_

Javier took a deep breath, as if it could potentially save him from drowning, before speaking again. He had a feeling that he was on the verge of leaping into a precipice but for the first time in a very long time _he_ _was not afraid._

“I can take you away…Away with me, away from him, away from all of them…”

Javier’s fingers closed over Yuzuru’s hand and he felt that the younger man started trembling.

“You are lying!”

Yuzuru’s voice sounded too strenuous and high-pitched even to his own ears, hysterical notes evident, all of his poise going down the drain, evaporating in the blink of an eye. An invisible spring, hidden somewhere deep inside of him snapped, evoking a storm of emotions. He hated exposing himself so much but he simply couldn’t help it, words pouring out in an unbidden torrent.  

“I don’t fucking care! You hear..?! I don’t _need to_ , I don’t _want to_! I don’t care about what you are doing with your life and there is no need in trying to pretend that you actually _care_. I know you don’t… We won’t be like some fucking _Bonnie and Clyde_ — leading a life of two runaways, constantly changing cities, hiding in seedy hotel rooms, paranoid every waking hour… You’ll hate me in a month, blaming for your own weaknesses and thinking that I have ruined your perfectly planned life… I am _not_ your fucking savior so, just leave me be!”

Yuzuru yanked his hand out of Javier’s grip, as if the man’s mere touch scalded him, and turned away, storming towards the doors, grabbing his things along the way.

Javier felt like suffocating, torn between a violent desire to just seize Yuzuru into a forceful hold and make him stay and to just let him go — allowing him to fly away, even if it did hurt.

_Badly._

“But, maybe, _I am_ — _yours_.”

Javier wasn’t sure Yuzuru heard his last phrase and it seemed meaningless to him anyway, now that he was left alone in the _impersonal_ space of his apartment, at the mercy of some highly _personified_ inner demons of his.

Images of faces, he was desperately willing to forget, changing themselves inside his agitated mind in an endless, accursed helix.

_Guilty._

**

Boyang opened the door of his flat to a feverishly-looking, wound-up Yuzuru: his friend’s arms closing around his neck tightly as if his dear life depended on it. He knew the time for questions would come later as he returned the embrace with matching vigor. Boyang thought of all of the times he _was there_ for Yuzuru, right when he was needed the most — to shield and provide reassurance, to share sorrows and find solace. His eyes took notice of a glassy pendant around Yuzuru’s neck and his heart skipped a beat.

It was about _him_.

_Again._

Boyang took Yuzuru’s hand and led him to a small kitchen, making him sit on a white tabouret, as he grabbed an open bottle of cheap whiskey out of the cupboard. Yuzuru shook his head, stubbornly refusing to drink, and Boyang ended up drinking for the both of them, just like a real friend would do. The swill scorched his gullet, bringing tears to his eyes and he barely found his voice to disrupt an oppressing silence suspended in the air in between.

“Did _he_ hurt you? Because I’ll fucking kill _him_ if he did.” He knew he sounded pathetic but at least he was completely earnest.

Yuzuru kept on staring at him, withdrawn and silent.

“You don’t need him, it is actually _he_ who doesn’t deserve you and _not_ vice versa…You always have me, Yuzu. I know you have never wanted me but I did and I _do_ and…”

The feeling of Yuzuru’s fingertip pressing against his lips shushed Boyang into an awkward silence. He felt his cheeks growing hot, cursing his sudden slip of control and alcohol-loosened tongue.

Yuzuru’s eyes were soft.

“I know, Bo.”

Yuzuru let his palm caress the burning cheekbone of his friend tenderly — his cool skin in sharp contrast to Boyang’s heated one. He felt like crying but the tears wouldn’t come.

Boyang told himself that it was a gesture of _pure_ _comfort_ and he didn’t let himself dwell on the thought that it might not be the case.

Yuzuru looked exhausted: eyelids leaden and gaze unfocused. Boyang helped him getting undressed with care before making Yuzuru lie down into his own bed. Yuzuru turned to his side, making room for the both of them.

Boyang was never the one to deny him.

He spent the night next to Yuzuru, spooning him from behind, listening to his steady breathing as they were enveloped by the darkness and each other’s closeness. He didn’t ask for more — just be there for him, like he was used to.

It was more than enough.

As Boyang was slowly drifting into sleep, he was dreaming of a bright sunny day and of pine-scented air, his lips tingling beneath _juicier_ ones, which were responding to his kisses with something _far more_ than a mere feeling of friendly attachment.

_He saw an image of a vibrant-blue butterfly dancing in the air gleefully; its wings fluttering above Yuzuru’s ebony hair._

He was smiling, not wanting to wake up.

**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Your feedback is appreciated.


End file.
